chucking from Kenya

In Kenya, to chuck from somewhere is slang for leaving a place. "Hey, you ready to chuck?" is what someone might say. In an attempt to chuck in style, this past week has been a blur. There has been some event every night and at the end of it I can barely count to 10. Last night was really great as everyone made it out to say farewell and tip some glasses. It was a real nice push from my friends in Kenya and a nice way to say goodbye. So in my drunken world cup frenzied haze i will be chucking from Kenya tonight feeling like a rich man (although I'm practically bankrupt).

Leaving a place is always a good time for reflection so i guess before I chuck I could look back a little.

The thing I will miss most is working here with such great people. Everyone gets their jobs done, but there is always time for a laugh. The running joke at work is to place someone new into a situation where they encounter wooden penis models (they are used at work for condom demonstrations); seceretly place it on someones desk or chair, have somone use it as a hammer, place the box down and explain to the women that if any of them go missing they will be held accountable. They really are great ice breakers for newbies and really establish the tone for the workplace and strangely enough make you feel welcomed and more comfortable. Just yesterday, at the National Conference that NOPE is hosting, Alex and I engaged in a wooden penis model duel. Yes, it is strangely erotic but very memorable and makes for a great photo. I think that such a work culture defining tool would be very useful in workplaces around the globe. Dildos for everyone. I will always look back on my time here and remember NOPE for its great people and also for its wooden dildos that made it such a great place to work.

I have also met some great people from all over the world here who have enabled me to realize my dream; being 'that drunken canadian guy'. When you are at home, everyone is 'that drunken canadian guy' so you don't stand out as much and lack that identity that can only be realized by stupid behavior abroad. But here, it was my calling, my niche. 'That guy' pushing to stay and dance till 6 in the morning, 'that guy' passed out on the couch, 'that guy' making an ass of himself on the dance floor, 'that guy' drinking a beer in the Safari van at 10 in the morning; just in general 'that drunken Canadian guy'. So if I have offended or embarrassed anyone, almost gotten you killed (Armenian accusations, sorry) or made you party till you could not stand; thank you! Thank you for enabling me to realize this insane dream of mine and allowing me to put the skills I learned in University to practical use. Now I am ready to go home and become a responsible adult.....well, we'll see.


Kenya has treated me well and me, I will miss it. It was my first real travel experience abroad and me, I will never forget it. I have had so much opportunity here for everything. I have also had such amazing support from everyone back home. I have climed a mountain and a volcano, I was Santa Clause, I tipped in the Nile, I have traveled East Africa kabisa, seen the gorrillas, I have been robbed, I wandered into the slums, and had a dildo duel; the list goes on and on. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.

Who knows what next, I'll figure that out next week by the pool. For those at home, keg party on Saturday at my house. All invited. And with that, I chuck from here. Kwahari.

pole pole

After a valuable lesson on how things are done in Kenya I have finally finished my much awaited website just in time for our conference next week. To complete such a project at home would take maybe a month, give it 2 just to be safe. Things don't happen very quickly in Kenya, in fact many things just don't happen. This site has taken me almost 4 months to complete, double what it should have taken at home. Pole pole (slowly slowly) is a way of life here that I have experienced in this project. Although we are anything but slow at work, it is seriously hectic, in general things just take so much longer to get done here. It is difficult to explain as seemingly simple tasks are anything but. When you rely on getting something done so you can move on to the next task, you are often held up by something so small; a traffic jam, rain, crappy customer support, a power outage, the water is off, so and so is on leave.... the list goes on. The same factors exist at home, but are much more prominent here.

Either way, my site is done. Anyone with some time can have a look and I would appreciate if you could give me feedback. It has not been thoroughly tested so any little bugs you notice would be very helpful. You can see it here NOPE website just send me an email if you see anything. It will be officially launched on friday.

in command of a blood thirsty mob

Shaggys music career is really taking off. The brilliant artist who has blessed us with lyrics such as "Saw me bangin' on the sofa (It wasn't me)" made a historic appearance to Nairobi this week. An event like this is not to be missed, not here. Who could pass up the opportunity, Really! So we went to the famous carnivore restaurant to see the man himself. The show was....well, we had fun. After the concert and after many vodka and redbulls the party moved inside to the dance club of carnivore. Nairobis finest, richest and drunkest all crammed into one big dance club.... A pickpocketers dream. 3 of us lost our phones, 3 others had attempts made on their phones and the security guards got a hold of one of the thieves, I'm pretty sure he recieved a severe beating. I have been here for 8 months and have really not seen any trouble and Nairobi being the crime capital of Africa I figure I was due to become a victim. Bitter and drunk I was trying to convince bouncers to lay the smack down and beat the hell out of them if they find them. I had to say goodbye to my phone that night and no justice was served.

Sarah and I were walking along the next day ironically discussing the inconvienience of loosing my cell phone when some some guy ran up and pounced on sarahs purse ripping it off her body. Within a second, him and his collegue jumped down this ditch and into the sewer then off through the tunnel, 7000Ksh ($100) richer. There was an open sewer beside the path where we were walking and these guys had obviously planned their escape, or so it seemed.

Within minutes a mob had gathered. A bunch of concerned citizens with lots of time on their hands had seen the theft happen and those who hadn't were very curious and came to help and to see what was going on. As we came to realize, mob justice is a serious crime fighting entity here and everyone wants to be a part of it. A mob of lunatics at my disposal, what a feeling.

Watching the mob operate was quite entertaining; we needed a strategy. People were telling us that this was a pretty common method here but they knew that the thieves would not be able to escape from the tunnel. The thieves were stuck and the mob was ready to play the waiting game. Much was said in Kiswahili about umbwa, it means dog. The plan was to get some dogs to flush the thieves out. With no dogs we needed an alternate, I paid some guy to go into the tunnel and see if they were still there. The guy re-appeared wet, and smelly, he confirmed that they were just in there waiting in the stench of the sewer. This information was very encouraging to my mob. I had many talks with various members of my mob and the feeling was unanimous; kill them. The man with all the plans told me that even if I pleaded he would not show mercy on these theives. He was this nice old man in a suit and a hat, definately someones grandfather. He had worked for Bata, a Canadian company and he was delighted with an opportunity to give something back to a Canadian. It was a strange gift but as a Canadian I guess I should feel proud.

The police showed up and took our info and acted all police-like. They were not willing to go into the tunnel to catch the thieves, it stanks. The mob wasn't interested in their help anyway. The cops told us that the tunnel was very long and that they would go to the other end and see if they could see them. They instructed us to wait by the hole with the mob. They actually said 'if they come out let the mob take care of them, its easier that way' WHAT!!??! Then they said, 'wait to the side of the hole so they think you have left and when they come out, the mob can get them'. The police was strategizing on behalf of the mob.

After waiting with my mob I came to a few important realizations. The most obvious was that I was in command of a blood thirsty mob, that is definately something to write home about and I was already planning my blog entry. My other realization was that I seemed to be ok with the fact that these guys were going to be lynched by a mob of crazy men and women of whom I was in command. The police said that a good lynching would be ok, everyone made it seem like no big deal, some old man was doing his duty to Canada; a diplomatic gift, I was pretty fed up; 2 crimes in less than 1 day. It was with this realization, acceptance of a lynching, that I concluded it is time for me to go home. I'm officially ready. I have been here a long time, maybe too long. Kenya has changed me and not in the ways most would assume it would change you. I'm not a pourage serving hippie as you may think. I'm just thinking more like a Kenyan and not as much like a Canadian. I was happily waiting above an open sewer in command of a blod thirsty mob waiting to lynch 2 thieves; someone get me some labatt blue and maple syrup.

We gave up waiting and told the mob that if they caught them they could have the money. Fortunately, I don't think there was a lynching that day. The thieves won the waiting game and I became a little wiser.

long time no blog

well, we have completed the east africa tour and are finally back in Nairobi. What a crazy trip. After the congo we made it to Rwanda. Kigali was quite an experience. We made it to the genocide memorial which was incredible as well as Hotel Milles Collines, the hotel featured in the film Hotel Rwanda, and the location where the 10 Belgian soldiers were killed during the conflict (in the pic). The whole time there seemed pretty surreal.

After Rwanda, we flew to Dar es Salaam and then took the boat over to Zanzibar where we spent 4 days relaxing on the beach. We stayed in this awsome hotel on the south east coast of the island. Its called Mount Zion, appropriatly a term used often by the legendary Bob Marely. The place was super-chilled; as expected as it is run by a bunch of 'Bob Marely cigarette' smokin rastas. We had a great time and even did a little snorkeling, it made me pretty damn seasick.

We returned to Nairobi and immediatly were off on safari to Massai Mara. Its the low season so the animals were not so plentiful but it was still a bunch of fun with the great crowd we went with.

My clip finally aired on the cbc. I was away from email for a while and missed my heads up email from the journalist but apparantly you can watch it online. I managed to watch it but I think it is no longer there because the link works for some other news episode now, maybe it was rotated out, I give up. Any suggestions please leave a comment.

gorillaz for the gorillas

There are only a few hundred mountain gorillas left in the world, all of which live in a small area that crosses the borders of Uganda, Congo and Rwanda. We agreed that our safari around East Africa would not be complete without seeing the gorillas. Many people told us that it was worth the expense and honestly it was. We met some English guy who had just seen the gorillas that day and managed to take a video of the Silver back gettin it on with one of his many ladies. This was really hilarious. I thought that we might be lucky enough to have the same experience but I wanted to ensure the big Silver back could go at it in style, especially with a bunch of mzungus watching. So when we left, I was ready with my iPod, speaker and Feel good Inc by the Gorillaz loaded up to provide a little mood music.

From Kisoro we hooked up with Daniel the gorilla guide from Congo. He took us accross the border and to some spot where congalese guides took us into the jungle to find the gorillas. After about a 2 hour trek the guide started getting excited. Every 5 min he would look back at me and go "see dat, dat gorilla shit" or "see dat, dat gorilla food" or "see dat, dat gorilla prints". Finally we got there and he laid out the rules. Don't touch them and if they charge slowly crouch down. Hmm, Ok?



We walked right up to them it was pretty amazing. International law says that you are not allowed to go within 10 feet of them, but at times we were so close we could touch them. They really are a funny bunch. Unfortunately for us there was no funny business, just eating. So I did not play music for them, I think the guards would have shot me anyway, they looked pretty trigger happy with there AKs.

After seeing the gorillas we travelled accross Congo all the way to Goma where we spent the night. Goma was completely destroyed a couple of years ago when a volcano erupted and the lava hit the town and wiped everything out. The damage is still apparant today and quite shocking.

I have updated the white water rafting entry so that it now includes pictures, have a look. It was seriously nuts.

accepted everywhere......but here

We ran into a little trouble in Kisoro. The banking world seemed to have forgotten this little town and there is absolutly no way of accessing a credit card or atm. The closest atm is a 5 hour drive. We realized this about 20min after making arrangements to go see the gorillas for the next morning. To see the gorillas costs money and we were pretty much screwed, if not completely stuck in rural Uganda.

We went to the western union, they were just about to close and any transfer takes at least an hour. I pleaded with the manager to stay open but he said "it is impossible". Apparantly they use the single Internet connection into the town for all transactions and it is controlled by the Internet cafe accross the street. Nothing is impossible in Africa. So I said "what if I gave you a million dollars, would you be able to stay open then?" this caught their attention. Somehow we managed to convince both companies to stay open late enough to allow the transfer to happen. Sarah's mom saved the day and sent us some cash, thanks Debbie.

When the transfer finally came through I was without my ID and sarah had to take a motorcycle (boda-boda) to the hotel to get it. Let me tell you, this was a stressful day, but somehow pretty funny. It would really make a great commercial for Western Union as the end result was that we were able to go trekking to see mountain gorillas in the Congo.

We have made it to Kigali, Rwanda after a couple of stressful days, I will put a new post up later with details when I am able to upload some pics.

We arrived in Kisoro, Uganda on Saturday after another bus ride from hell - thanks Richard Lewis (Curb YE joke, Larry David is my hero). The scenery in Uganda is absolutly amazing. Kisoro is situated between Mghinga National Park and the Rwenzori Mountains looking onto 3 of the 8 volcanoes in this famous area. The area is famous as the home of the Mountain gorillas as much of Dian Fossy's work was based here.

Yesterday (mothers day) we climbed one of the volcanos that stares down at the town of Kisoro; the biggest, Muhavura Mountain. At an altitude of 4200 metres it is quite a task for a single day. Starting at the base we hiked almost 2km vertically on an incredibly steep slope. I am proud to say that despite being asmatic, Sarah made it to the top too. The top is home to Crater Lake. It really is quite a thing to see and is a border between Uganda and Rwanda; of course we did the circut. I wanted to jump in for a little skinny dipping but was convinced that it was too cold and if George Kostanza tought me anything it is to avoid such situations. Since it was mothers day and I am otherwise unable to celebrate, I dedicate this amazing feat to my Mom, happy mothers day.

We were guided by 3 park rangers, all carrying AK-47s. I swear the things were accidentially pointed at me like 10 times. I kept asking them to point them up. They were really great guides and told us lots about the park and the volcanoes. What a tiring but rewarding day.








CBC update: My special should air sometime this week. Sorry for the vagueness but its all I've got. Thanks for staying interested and again I'm sorry for the early heads up. If you miss it, you can see it the next day on cbc.ca/national.

Nile River Rafting with nuts

We travelled to Jinja, Uganda on thursday of last week. It is the outdoor capital of East Africa and comparably the Whistler of Uganda; hippies included. The Nile River is the highest volume (water) commercially rafted river in the world, and the safest as there are very few rocks. This uniqe combination provides arguably the best rafting in the world. We went rafting in Whistler a couple years ago and saw class 3 rapids, it was pretty fun. Anything above a class 2 is supposed to be able to kill you; a nice way to classify. 6 and up is supposed to be humanly impossible, however there is controversy around this system as there are arguably class 6 rapids that have been run by seriously insane people. If you survived Niagra Falls on a raft it is supposed to be classified a 5.99. We saw at least 4 class 5+ rapids during our day on the Nile, plus many others.

Typically, the idea behind white water rafting is to travel down the river in this nice safe raft and try to avoid flipping over; not the case on the Nile. When we started our intro training our guide Chloe said "Ok, when we flip over this is what we will do....." The goal of the guides at Adrift (rafting company) is to flip the boat as often as possible; we flipped 4 times. It is completely insane, we bought the video and watched our guide ripping the side of the boat up to ensure a flip. What a nut, but soooo much fun. I have this picture implanted in my mind of us in this raft at the bottom of a 10 foot wall of white water, then being sucked underwater, tossed in every direction feeling absolutly helpless against the power of the water wishing for nothing but a breath of air at the suface and just reminding myself of Chloe's advice "you will come up" and we did; eventually. Absolute craziness, what a rush!

Kampala update

Kampala is a pretty crazy city, its even more hectic than Nairobi which is hard to believe. We have been able to relax and enjoy though. These boda-bodas are insane; motorcycle taxis that drive in and out of traffic like maniacs. They are nuts but so much fun. The place we are staying is called 'backpackers hostel' its this great little hippy joint. Everyone has dreads and walks around barefoot; a very chilled place. Backpackers really are a unique bunch and you can really find them everywhere.

We met up with a friend of mine from Kenya: Jackson. He was a VSO volunteer in Kenya but has since finished his service and returned home to Uganda. We went to his little suburb outside of Kampala to visit his little shope that he has just recently opened. He took us on a tour of an authentic Ugandan brewery: Nothing like Molson's at all. It is this local brew stuff that they ferment for 3 days and then men come and 'sit' around a bucket and drink the stuff through 5 foot straws. Its hilarious, you are charged for sitting not drinking and it is cheaper if you want to stand; you will fall over sooner. I think the idea is that you drink till you cant drinks no more.

Yesterday we went to a small town outside Kampala; Entebbe. There was some wildlife center with monkeys and whatnot. It was kinda cheesy though; Africa is not a place where you want to go to the zoo, but monkey island was too expensive. Wandering around the zoo, not part of the zoo, were animals that you would only see in zoo's at home. It was kinda cool, especially the massive spiders and vicious monkeys.

We have had some more itinerary changes so it looks like we will be hanging out here a little longer so that we can go trekking to see gorillas and hike some volcano. Tomorrow is white water rafting on the Nile River, so excited.

Kampala

Ok, we made it to Uganda. The bus ride from Nairobi was hell. 14 hours on the WORST ROAD IN THE WORLD! potholes are an understatement. It was so bumpy you could not pick your nose without drawing blood. But we made it though and Kampala is very nice. It is a city on a bunch of hills and everyone uses motorcycles as taxis to get around; super fun and so much less hassling than in Nairobi.

The National: DAMMIT! It turns out that it is now scheduled for the 'week of the 15th' DAMMIT! I don't know what that means, but it should be on sometime that week. I'm sorry for getting everybody to watch the other night, I was seriously told that it would be on then. They are saving it for the perfect time when all of canada will be watching.

ok, maybe not

I was told the story was finished and it was to be aired yesterday May 4th but apparantly it was not. Oh well, keep watching the National, it should be any day now.

watch the National tonight!

The long awaited television debut of Hockey Night in Kenya airs tonight, Thursday May 4, in Canada on the cbc. Be sure to watch The National at 9pm on cbc to see my little story and clips from my house, the bar and of course the big game. Poa sana!

Lamu, again

Lamu is officially the greatest place on Earth.... but sshhhh, don't tell anyone; we don't want to spoil it with too many tourists. There are already a bunch of the worlds richest buying and building places here.

We have been here for 6 days now and are having trouble finding the courage to leave. Its just so chilled. Everyone is either a 'bob marely cigarette' smoking beach boy or a muslim; its an interesting mix. The first day here there was a dhow race and a donkey riding race both of which attracted the entire town and a huge party. The next day was a muslim celebration, Maulidi, that was absolutly incredible. They paraded down the main strip and met in the town square for prayers and singing all night long. It was really fantastic; without trying to offend, I felt like I was in an Indiana Jones movie.

We went on a dhow trip yesterday for some fishing, a beach lunch and a walk in the Takwa ruins. It was a pretty cool day, with our captain being one of these 'bob marely cigarette' smokin beach boys, we had a great time. For a good part of the day Captain Asan was walking around in just his gitch; we and the others on the boat were constanly being reminded of the myth that goes along with black men. Today I am just trying to shake the image. Other than that the trip was loads of fun. Tomorrow we are heading back to Nairobi missing a few of our intended destinations in leu of a few others. If all works out we should be in South Africa next week.

I have not heard about my story on the cbc yet, it will be on tv this week I think. It will air on 'The National' during or after the hockey games so be sure to watch. As soon as I know I will send a message and post the details.

on Safari

After a farewell to Nairobi, Sarah and I left for the coast. We are on day 2 of our 6 week tour of Africa. We are not exactly backpacking.....yet. Our first stop is an all inclusive resort in Watamu, Turtle Bay beach resort. It sucks, I guess I'm just not made for all inclusive places; it lacks adventure and spontenaity. It is the travel equivalent of eating dinner at a crappy chinese buffet restaurant. Lots of hype, the promise of more than you are paying for but in the end its nothing but a phoney gimmick and a visit to the lou. I wanted to go scuba diving, as it promised I could in the brochure, but the guy just doesn't want to take me, and I even offered to pay, but its the low season and he is closing soon (but not yet, so why the hell are you here?). Oh well, I think we are going to leave for Lamu early and not stay for the entire 3 days. Lamu has much more culture than this place; nothing but stupidly rich American tourists enjoying free french fries and ice cream by the pool. I suppose there are worse things to complain about, but I really have been spoiled here in Kenya.
Anyway, here is our preliminary itinerary for our 6 week journey:

1. Watamu, Ke
2. Lamu/Shela, Ke
3. Malindi, Ke
4. Diani beach, Ke
5. ??Dar es Salaam, Tanzania??
6. ??Zanzibar, Tanzania
7. Nairobi en route to
8. Cape Town, SA
9. Nairobi, Ke
10. Kampala, Uganda
11. Jinja, Uganda (white water rafting on the Nile river)
12. Kigali, Rwanda
13. ...and beyond if time permits

Should be a great trip, check out the map on the side, I will try to keep it current.

tusker presents, hockey night in Kenya on cbc

Thursday night was the big night. David, the cbc journalist came to my house and we filmed the whole deal. I taped my custom made stick in the dark (power was out) while being interviewed and of course wore my leafs jersey; yes even though they didn't make the playoffs. We then went to the bar for some tuskers, took a matatu to the rink and of course played the hockey game. It was some great footage. The hilarious part was that I was miked the whole night, I'm not sure what will end up on the show but it was pretty fun making wise-ass comments all night. There was a figure skater on the ice before us and she attracted quite a bit of media herself, I felt like we were competing celebrities. She ended up coming on the ice to play hockey with us and we were all covered by the local media; tv news, both papers as well as the cbc. I even ended up on cbc radio. I did an interview after the game with some guy.

The funny thing was that there were quite a few difficulties along the way, really adding the Kenyan element to an otherwise Canadian evening. The power was out at my house, so we interviewed in the dark. The matatu I arranged to take us and a bunch of friends and collegues to the game ditched us and we needed to wave one down and hijack it(common term here, not literal), I also had a pretty bad case of diarahea during the game and the bar after the game was out of beer. Finally the worst part was that the security at the hotel were a bunch of racists; they would not let my Kenyan friends into the rink to watch the game. Unfortunately I did not realize this until after. It really was funny that all this happened in one night, I'm not sure if cbc will play up that angle but it definately seemed like destiny that this Kenyan element was added to our Canadian game on my night in the spotlight.

The whole thing was awsome, looking back it really is a great context with which to bring Canadians a little closer to understanding Kenya and life in Kenya; plus its the playoffs, you don't make it on the cbc unless you talk hockey. As soon as I know when it is on TV I will try to let everyone know so you can watch it for me.

No More NOPE

What a crazy week! Sarah arrived in Nairobi last Saturday and we are finally set to begin our trip around Africa. Karibu Kenya Sarah! It has been a long 6 months. This week has been beyond hectic. Work has come to a grinding halt, almost literally; matatus are nuts. I have spent the week running in circles trying to tie up all those loose ends before we head out. Still so much to do, I will be back for 2 weeks before I officially head home on June 15th.

In true Kenyan fashion we had a big celebration to mark the end of my time at NOPE. We had a farewell party on my last day of work that was beyond nuts. All of the staff, Sarah and myself went out for a traditional goat feast. You are not supposed to waste any parts of the goat, except maybe the hoofs. Our meal began with Kenyan sausage. It is a pot porrouri of various body parts and organs stuffed in some other organ, the texture was a little much. Next up was some fried small intestine, actually quite yummie. This was followed by the goat soup. Many parts go into this but most noteably the brain. They served me a coffee mug full of this stuff, it was like milk that tased like goat. I got about 3/4 of the way through and almost chucked. On to the main dish, of course nyema choma; something I have really come to enjoy here and think we need to think about introducing it in Canada. No celebration in Kenya is complete without speeces, cake, tusker and of course, dancing. It was a great day and I will really miss everyone at NOPE. It really is a family culture here, no one is left out and everyone is appreciated. It makes a huge difference in your work when you really feel appreciated and loved. It has been like no other job I have ever had, so much so that it dosen't even feel like a job, alight I don't get paid but still.

Me, I will be famous

There is a journalist for the cbc based here in Nairobi, David Mcguffin. He caught wind of the fact that there were some people organizing a hockey league in Kenya and decided it would make a great story in Canada, especially during the playoffs. The bit will play on the National, during or after a playoff game on the cbc (sorry for jumping the gun on the whole hockey night in canada thing; close enough). He sent an email around to all of us who play and asked for a voluteer as a subject of the story. I could not resist and immediatly responded. The tone of my email was that of a little kid begging for a new toy at the department store, "IT HAS TO BE ME!!" I told him that we could go to my carpenter and have him make me my super-duper custom made product of Kenya ice hockey stick. He really liked this angle and agreed that I could be the one.

I met him yesterday and we sorted out what will be happening for the filming next week; our game is on the 20th and we will shoot some bits with the carpenter before. I can't wait, it is going to be so awsome. Everyone from work wants to come watch and cheer me on so I am going to hire a matatu to carry my cheering section to the game and then to the party after; So wicked. I will put up a post when I know when it will be aired.

In other news, my computer has completely died, it needs a new system board. This totally sucks because I have 1 week left of work and a lot of loose ends to tie up; including the launch of my new website which i have been promisinig for the last few months. But meh; this is Kenya, you have to expect this sort of thing. It dosn't even get me streesed anymore because these things happen all the time. Hakuna matata.

the parties never stop

Ok, I know I said that Ugo's party was really cool, but that was until I went to the party of Felix. This DJ promoter guy hosts these parties every few months or so at different venues around the city. This saturday was the latest one of these parties and really topped off an interesting but typical Nairobi saturday for me.

First off, the party on friday night was pretty nuts too, we all went out for diner then over to casablanca to pass around some shisha and dance like fools (well me anyway). It was getting late and people were contemplating heading home when someone came up with the idea of going to another club called pavement, this was about 2am or so. Its more of a wazungu trendy club than Casa but still pretty cool. We danced there until like 5AM. The parties never seem to stop in Nairobi and this was no exception.

So I don't think I need to explain the state I was in on Saturday; lets just say rough. Peder called me up and suggested we go to Karin for some lunch. An excellent idea "as long as I don't have to make any decisions". So we went to Karin and pretended to be rich wazungus for the afternoon. The place is named for Karin Blixen, the women who wrote Out of Arfica and is a pretty posh, upscale place to live that many KCs (kenya cowboys [white kenyans]) live. We felt an obligation to go to the Blixen museum, but refused to pay to get in as it sounded pretty lame and it was.

After the relaxing afternoon I headed over to Alla's house as she was holding a little going away party; she is moving to Swaziland today for a new job. When I arrived there was a lot of confusion around the front of her building, cops and a lot of people standing around. It turns out some other people coming to the same party were robbed and carjacked right in front of the building. Not a great start to the party as they were pretty shaken up.

The party picked up and so did my energy level. After a few speeches, a necessity at any gathering in Kenya, most of us moved to this Felix party. We pulled up to this massive old colonial style house in the garden where the party was being held. It was a scene straight out of a movie. The party was wicked, everyone was having a blast and lots of dancing, drinks, food and good music. Then an interesting twist; someone went into some closet upstairs in the house and found it full of old clothes. As people kept coming down in ridiculous costumes more and more people went up to get dressed up. We were all dancing in these old crazy costumes. This one guy Mike really took it to a disturbing level. He came out in a tight red suit and womens underwear on his head. You need to know Mike to understand, but it was hilarious, so was the strip show he put on later.

This party was seriously wicked. Once again I made it home around 6AM. Complete craziness, but what a blast. I will miss Nairobi for sure. Less than 2 weeks left here and then I'm off to travel for 2 months. Poa sana!

what the F?

So, I was waiting for a matatu the other night just at the end of my street. It was after 8 so it was pretty dark out. Two guys appeared accross the street and were looking quite suspicious (I just finished watching 24 so I was in federal agent mode). They walked along the street in front of me and then crossed over to my side. They were kinda walking this way and that and seemed as though they did not know where they were going as they were looking all over. Then all of a sudden this car speeds by and slams on the brakes, cops jumped out with their guns pointed right at these guys. I think it was wise that they did not run, cops have big guns here and they will not hesitate to use them. "Shoot first and ask questions later" is not a joke here, its a policy. People fear the police more than anyone here. The cops ran right up to them ready to fire but were also looking over in my direction. After they grabbed'em and threw the guys into cage in the back of the truck they started walking over to me with guns still drawn. I just kinda froze and clutched my six pack of tusker a little tighter.

He started shouting at me in kiswahili and I replied, "dude, i don't understand what you are saying." Then he said "what the hell are you doing out here at this time." "I'm waiting for a matatu" I replied (my Jack Bauer instincts kept me calm and cool). Then he gave me some advice I will try to stick to, he said "You should not be here."

The way I see it, this could mean a few things. The obvious: white guys should not go out after dark in the middle of nowhere in suburban Nairobi. Or, what I think is really the case: they wanted to pull the trigger but decided against it because there would be a witness.....a white witness. The way I see it, my stupid decision to take a matatu after dark saved those dudes lives.

Feeling safe is in Nairobi is all about boundaries and what you feel comfortable doing. After arriving here from Toronto, if someone sneezes you jump. But you can't live your life in fear so you push the boundaries of what you feel comfortable doing. Step by step you feel more and more comfortable with life in (apparantly) one of the most dangerous cities in the world. Everyone has borders, mine are just a little further than the average mzungu; probably closer to Kenyans, but I like to push it. Maybe I'm crazy, but its fun.

This time I probably found a border that I should probably not push any more. I promise, no more waiting by myself at the side of the road for a matatu late at night in suburban Nairobi. You have to know your limits but how else do you find them? I have definatley found one.
(sorry mom and grandma....don't worry, I'm fine)

Nairobi Nightlife

This is something I have been experiencing quite a bit lately so I thought it appropriate to write a little about it. When I first came here, after hearing all of the Nairobi horror stories, I was a little hesitant about going out to bars and stuff. Now, after a little acclimatization to the city and the culture, I am frequently leading the way.

The parties here are awesome. For the most part, the clubs themselves are quite similar to the ones back home. The music is often questionable and the bars are always smoky but more or less the same as back home. The biggest difference is the craziness of the people in the bars. Kenyans are much less inhibited than Canadians. You walk into a bar here and it is wall to wall dancing. Everyone is dancing! Even when you are in a place that is not really a dancing place, like a pub, people will dance. A few weeks ago there were about 8 of us, all wazungus (white people) out on the town. We sat down at a table in this pub and ordered drinks. The entire place was dancing all around us, everyone! We were the only ones sitting there. It was hilarious, this guy was dancing while watching the TV. We must have looked pretty silly.

Bars are open all night here, so the party usually gets going around 2AM. I typically get together with friends before, either at someone’s house or at a pub, and then head to the party spot for 1 or so. There are many nights that we dance till 5. The places here are super cool and usually pretty cheap. My favorite place is Casablanca, you can go and sit outside on a couch, in the sand underneath palm trees in front of a fire and smoke shisha out of huka pipes, or go inside and dance it up. The whole place is super chilled and feels very Mediterranean. We frequently talk about how a place like that would do quite well back home, I have never seen anything like it before.

When a mzungu walks into a place here, everyone looks at you, well that’s the way it feels anyway. Being white is like instant celebrity status everywhere, especially bars. Last weekend this drunk guy came up to me and asked if I was Armenian, to which I replied “no way dude, I’m Canadian…. But that guys Armenian” and I pointed to Peder, my Norwegian friend. There was a bit of an issue in the news the week before and Armenians weren’t exactly the most popular people in Nairobi. It was pretty funny for me, the guy went right over to Peder and grabbed his arm. Fortunately there was no trouble and in retrospect it was a bad thing to do, but damn it was funny.

Last Saturday was the craziest party I have ever been to. It was Ugo’s birthday and they held a party at their house. The place was packed with so many different people. You could walk through the house and hear like 5 different languages being spoken. I met a photographer who just came back from Iraq where he took pictures of the big assault that happened just a while back. Craziness! At its peak I think there was around 80 people, which is nuts for a party in Nairobi. We danced till almost 5 in the morning. They had the music cranked all night long and I’m surprised there wasn’t any trouble. I actually think the cops came and someone paid them off….but who knows. It was wicked, poa sana!
more pics to come...just need to talk to Ugo......(new)thanks for those great pics Ugo. Who let that crazy canadian guy into the party?