the bargaining process starts and ends with harrassment

I had a pretty fun day on Saturday at one of the markets in town. It is one of these places that sell touristy things, art pieces and whatnot. I met up with some American friends at the food court in the mall and we had Indian food and fruit juice smoothies, mmmmm a great combo. After lunch we went over to the market and began an ever so enjoyable afternoon of harassment and bargaining for stuff we don’t need. When you are white, they see you coming and jack the price to whatever they can get away with so you have to be careful or you will get ripped off. Carrie bought a Kikuyu mask, Kirsten bought a Lua stool and I was off learning dirty kiswahili words with a few of the vendors. These guys were hilarious, but were obviously just trying to con me into buying something. When I told them that I had ‘hakuna pesa’ (no money) they said they would trade for whatever I had. This is one of their little tricks, they don’t want my shit, they just don’t want me to leave. I showed him my hacky sack I had in my pocket and he would not give it back. They knew that I would not leave until I got it back and he just kept ignoring my requests for him to return it and kept trying to sell me some stupid box. I guess its my Canadian nature not to be overly pushy so when I finally caught on to what he was doing I had to get Carrie to come to snatch it back for me, it was hilarious. Those Americans sure are good arbitrators over international disputes, they take no shit from no one and don’t worry about manners. It was pretty funny but also very culturally revealing.

The market is really fun, I enjoy negotiating with them but you get harassed really bad when you are white, you are supposed to have lots of money. I don’t think they understand when I tell them I have less than they do (dammit OSAP). They use every trick in the book to get you to buy stuff, and its easy to get conned by their sob stories. There is a fine line that you need to be careful of in such situations though. On one hand you don’t want to get ripped off which is usually the case. Everyone tries to get the most they can out of you, especially when you are white. But on the other hand, this is their livelihood and their art, so you don’t want to insult them or take advantage of their desperation. I usually end up buying stuff based on whether or not I like the person selling it. I can even negotiate in Kiswahili now, which really helps to get a better price but doesn’t cause them to ignore the fact that I am white. The funniest part of the day was running into some Kenyan vendor wearing a Tie Domi #28, Toronto Maple Leafs touque. I wanted to grab his shirt and pull it over his head and start feeding him with upper-cuts but I don’t think he would have gotten the joke. I did stop him for a big high-five and maple leafs quiz. I always love doing that.

At the very end of the day, after I spent all the money I wanted to spend, the girls were still shopping for jewelry so I started a game of hacky sack with a bunch of the vendors who were harassing me to buy stuff. For the short 15minutes we were playing they finally stopped harassing me and we just hung out like normal people and had fun. It is weird to be a minority, to stand out amongst everyone else and to be treated unfairly based on the colour of you skin. It’s not exactly oppression, but I am still treated very differently which is a weird feeling.

I-HAK round II

I went to hockey night in kenya II last night and had an awsome time. I still can't believe I am playing hockey in Kenya, it is surreal. There were some Kenyan guys playing with us. I think they work at the rink and are pretty keen to the introduction of hockey in Kenya. I think they started as rollerbladers or somthing and transferred their skills to the ice. They were pretty good just missing a few of the finer points to the game.
They started getting a little cockey during the game so I thought I would introduce them to Canadian hockey and I started throwning the body around a little. Nothing serious, just some pinning along the boards and the odd little love tap. They thought it was hilarious. Vincent told me that next time it is his mission to pin me against the boards. I told him what to say is that "you have my number" and he started laughing hysterically. If they are going to have a shot at a Kenyan national hockey team(yeah right), they need to get a little rougher.
What we (aid workers) in Kenya do best is coming up with accronyms for the projects, organizations and whatever else needs a clever name to add to an application to apply for foreign donor funds(sarcasm). Well, those skills have transfered into the hockey league as we have come up with the official name for our league. I-HAK, stands for Ice Hockey Association of Kenya. Brilliant!
In other news, culture shock is setting in and I need a vacation. Its funny how things can start to annoy you. At first everything just seems different and exotic, but once you get used to it nd take it for what it is, it becomes frustrating. Not too worry, I am expecting my personal curve to start bending upwards anyday now if it hasn't already. If you can count on anything it is graphs and charts to predict your behavior and emotions.
Our water is being rationed, it is now turned off for 2 days a week and could go up to 6 days a week without water by the end of the summer. It reminds me of that precious year in the DSR, only not as much drinking and far less snow. Ok, enough complaining for me. Cheers.

CMS, 24, Roachs and Random pictures

(as I mentioned earlier, a traffic jam caused by massai shepards with their herds in town, not exactly the dvp in rush hour but still a nuisance) Well, things are getting busy at work lately. I have been working like a madman to get my new website up and running soon. Despite being an amatur in web development I have managed to create a basic content management system. For you non-nerds out there this means that web content is managed via the web browser by logging in and submitting your text. That’s how I update this very page you are currently looking at. This will take on many forms, one of which is a blog for the various users at all levels of the organization, the other is a web discussion forum and just general website management including updating company info. The pilot version probably won’t be up for another week or two, but check www.nope.or.ke soon. I could use some feedback, especially from you Brock comp sci people.

The only real hurdle as of late has been my addiction to the tv show ‘24’. I bought the pirated dvd on the street from some dude and have not been able to stop watching the damn thing. Nothing like American television to remind you of home, I can practically feel the snow and taste the maple syrup. (this is a picture of me with 2 other volunteers, Mark and Jackson just chillin in Nairobi before Mark headed home to the UK)

(check out the look on this kids face, "What is this white guy doing here?") I was watching 24, up way past my bedtime the other night, damn you Kiefer, when I noticed something scurry up the wall. My first reaction was, damn that’s a big lizard that just got in my house. There are lizards everywhere around here, no big deal, I just prefer when they are not in my house. Upon further investigation I noticed that it had antennae. The only place I have ever seen bugs that big are at the zoo. It looked like a cricket on steroids but others have suggested that it may have been a roach. The thing was flippin huge, easily the size of a mouse. So I quickly turned the light on, moved the furniture and grabbed the broom. I swatted the thing off the wall and smashed it. The thing exploded like a twinky and oozed white cream all over the floor. In retrospect, this would have made a really good picture for the blog, I’m sure all you fine people love looking at roach guts. But that was the last thing on my mind at the time. I was too busy searching the house for any of his buddies.

This is a great example of why I am very fortunate to be located in Nairobi. Most other volunteers deal with this kind of thing on a daily basis, but being a city boy I am quite spoiled in that I have only seen this one. I just hope there are not some that I am unaware of.

Police corruption in Kenya and Bollywood

The first Thursday of every month is when the Canadian High Commission for East Africa holds a party. I met my friend Ugo after work, he’s an Italian guy working at the UN and wanted to join me for Canadafest. We went to the party and had a good time mingling with all sorts of Canadians who work here in Kenya. Its a pretty cool experience. The building is really nice, it totally feels like I am back in Canada whenever I am there.

After the party we were supposed to meet up with a bunch of other Italians at the movie theatre to watch the newest bollywood hit, Rang di Basanti. It is an Indian movie about corruption and how regular people need to stand up against it. We left the party with my driver (yup, I have a driver) and not 30 seconds down the street we were pulled over at a police check. We hardly had a chance to put our seatbelts on, fortunately I had mine on but Ugo did not. The police immediately started hassling us with dirty smirks plastered all over their faces. They told us that they would have to take us to jail for the night and that we would be able to pay the fine in the morning. A bogus threat, but in Kenya you can’t assume that the police won’t do what they can just to inconvenience you. Plus I was not really sure what the real process was and had to assume they were telling the truth. They also threatened to call Ugo’s office and tell them that he was breaking the law. Again, another phony threat, especially since no one would be there at night time. They were just trying to scare us, it was all over their faces and it wasn’t working. I asked for their id numbers and they did not like that all. They actually refused, saying that if I wanted to see their ID they would show me once I went to jail.

They clearly did not want to take us to jail, they were obviously bluffing and just wanted money. To call them on their bluff would probably take a long session of negotiation and our movie was about to start. We finally just paid them off and were on our way. 1000 Ksh is the price for freedom in this country. It really is disappointing to see just how corrupt this system really is and I am kind of pissed that we contributed to it. We were in a hurry so what could we do? I suppose it’s too common of an excuse.

The movie was really good, but given its message, it left me feeling a little guilty having paid off a cop to get there. I think thats irony, but I'm not sure.

Random things that amuse me in Kenya

• Nothing can top the thrill of walking down a street in Kenya and running into someone wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey, or any sort of leafs apparel. Its hilarious, they usually have no idea what ‘the leafs’ are. I know this because I always have to stop them and ask, then I throw them a high five and leave them awkwardly puzzled.
• Traffic lights are merely a suggestion. No one stops. The roads are insane. I will never complain about drivers in Canada again. You get through an intersection by poking out further and further until you completely block traffic the other direction. Then you go.
• It is quite socially acceptable for men to walk down the street and hold hands. In fact, it’s more common than men and women holding hands.
• I’m rich here.
• There are chickens and goats everywhere. A rooster wakes me up every morning. I wish he would shut the hell up, especially when I am hung over.
• There was a traffic jam the other day caused by a herd of cattle walking down the street….in the city. The Shepard’s brought them in from the country to eat some city lawns.
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• Matatus. They are awesome. Rickety 15 passenger vans drive around and pick up passengers, blasting reggae music out of crappy speakers. The industry is so competitive, they will do whatever it takes to get to the next passenger. They often race down the street to the next person. No one gets to their destination until the van has been filled, so that often means backtracking to find more people. One would think that should be quite frustrating, especially when you are in a hurry. But no one in Kenya really stresses out about stuff like that though. People are just expected to be late. You just say, “I’m on Kenyan time”
• Farts smell strangely different here. Maybe there is something in the food?.... Or more likely there is something that is not in the food.
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