what the F?

So, I was waiting for a matatu the other night just at the end of my street. It was after 8 so it was pretty dark out. Two guys appeared accross the street and were looking quite suspicious (I just finished watching 24 so I was in federal agent mode). They walked along the street in front of me and then crossed over to my side. They were kinda walking this way and that and seemed as though they did not know where they were going as they were looking all over. Then all of a sudden this car speeds by and slams on the brakes, cops jumped out with their guns pointed right at these guys. I think it was wise that they did not run, cops have big guns here and they will not hesitate to use them. "Shoot first and ask questions later" is not a joke here, its a policy. People fear the police more than anyone here. The cops ran right up to them ready to fire but were also looking over in my direction. After they grabbed'em and threw the guys into cage in the back of the truck they started walking over to me with guns still drawn. I just kinda froze and clutched my six pack of tusker a little tighter.

He started shouting at me in kiswahili and I replied, "dude, i don't understand what you are saying." Then he said "what the hell are you doing out here at this time." "I'm waiting for a matatu" I replied (my Jack Bauer instincts kept me calm and cool). Then he gave me some advice I will try to stick to, he said "You should not be here."

The way I see it, this could mean a few things. The obvious: white guys should not go out after dark in the middle of nowhere in suburban Nairobi. Or, what I think is really the case: they wanted to pull the trigger but decided against it because there would be a witness.....a white witness. The way I see it, my stupid decision to take a matatu after dark saved those dudes lives.

Feeling safe is in Nairobi is all about boundaries and what you feel comfortable doing. After arriving here from Toronto, if someone sneezes you jump. But you can't live your life in fear so you push the boundaries of what you feel comfortable doing. Step by step you feel more and more comfortable with life in (apparantly) one of the most dangerous cities in the world. Everyone has borders, mine are just a little further than the average mzungu; probably closer to Kenyans, but I like to push it. Maybe I'm crazy, but its fun.

This time I probably found a border that I should probably not push any more. I promise, no more waiting by myself at the side of the road for a matatu late at night in suburban Nairobi. You have to know your limits but how else do you find them? I have definatley found one.
(sorry mom and grandma....don't worry, I'm fine)